Heather Mills Photography and guest contributor,
Kristin Collier, Relationship Coach and owner of Collier Collective
You’re allowed to want more than just ‘getting through the day.’
This message is for the woman who is ready to ask for what she actually wants—and receive it.
3 Mistakes That Could Turn Mother’s Day from Joyful to Awkward …
And How to Avoid Them
Kristin Collier, Relationship Coach and owner of Collier Connections
Have you ever found yourself looking forward to Mother’s Day … and also dreading it?
I’ve been there.
It’s the one day a year dedicated to you—and yet the people celebrating you still have needs.
Needs you’re usually so good at tending to.
So how do you create a joyful dynamic that feeds both you and your family—on this day and beyond?
It might mean throwing out the rulebook.
As a relationship coach (and former parenting coach), here are three common mistakes I see—and how to shift them into something far more satisfying.
1. Relying on others to meet your needs
The problem:
People may not know what you need—or how to meet your needs in a way that feels good.
The shift:
Get clear on what matters most… and stay flexible in how it comes to life.
Want an easy day with no cooking? Communicate it—then receive whatever shows up with openness. Prefer something specific? Take the lead and set it up.
You’re allowed to want what you want.
Just don’t leave your family guessing—they likely want to hit the mark.
Partnership thrives when expectations are shared gently, not silently held.
I remember one Mother’s Day when I got clear ahead of time that what I really wanted was a slow morning and no decisions. I shared that with my partner—and she and the kids served me breakfast in the garden.
Seda knows how much I love good food and spring flowers. She’d taken my nudge in such a sweet direction. We sparkled that morning as a couple—communication, co-creation, and honoring combined!
2. Putting everyone else first
The problem:
There’s no faster path to resentment than sidelining yourself on a day meant to celebrate you.
There are no bonus points for martyrdom.
The shift:
Let this be a both/and.
You can care about your mom, your kids, and your partner and care for yourself—especially with a little forethought.
Get creative. Partner with the people around you.
Drop off something for your mom the day before.
Loop your partner in on what would feel meaningful to you.
Talk with your kids ahead of time so they know their needs matter—WITH yours.
Maybe you want to carve out some solitude (my favorite Mother’s Day reset) or build in an adventure you’ve been dreaming of.
When everyone feels considered, connection flows more easily.
3. Packing the day too full
The problem:
Trying to fit in everything—multiple visits, too many plans—can leave everyone overstimulated and just trying to get through the day.
Not exactly the feeling you were pining for.
The shift:
Choose meaning over cramming. If you can’t fit it all into a day, stretch the fun out. Send some of it into the next weekend.
Connection deepens in slower moments—shared meals, unhurried conversation, even in a long car ride.
If you’ll be sitting down together for any amount of time, invite a little co-creation in advance: Have each person bring a question to ask. You might be surprised at what opens up.
When you prioritize presence, the day shifts from more… to better.
A simple pro tip:
Make your decisions in advance.
The less you have to figure out on the day itself, the more space you have for ease, playfulness, and even spontaneity.
Planning and playfulness aren’t opposites.
You can have both.
Just like you can have time for yourself and time with the people you love.
Above all, keep checking in with the mother of the hour (that’s YOU):
Am I in choice right now?
Because it’s hard to feel joyful when you feel stuck following someone else’s plan.
This Mother’s Day, free yourself a little.
Adjust expectations.
Plan with intention.
Let your authentic needs be supported.
When you do, something beautiful happens:
You don’t just have a better day … you create a dynamic where connection, care, and partnership can grow long after it’s over.
And that’s a Mother’s Day worth celebrating.
Want to create more warmth, connection, and joy in your relationship? It only takes one to begin to shift the dynamic. If you’re leading the way, Kristin can help. Find her HERE or email her at kristin@collierconnections.com.
A quick word from Heather Mills:
This is the kind of shift I love supporting women in—moving from holding it all together…
…to actually being present in the moments that matter.
I see the impact of that every time I photograph a family.
When you arrive still holding all the decisions—what to wear, how it will go, what to do with the images afterward—it’s hard to fully settle into the moment.
That’s why I approach things differently:
From custom wardrobe selection in the comfort of your own home, professional hair and makeup styling so you look and feel your best, guiding you and your loved ones gently through the session, to continuing that support all the way through to the finished pieces in your home.
So when the day arrives, you’re not figuring it out as you go.
You’re stepping into something that’s already been thoughtfully held.
You’re no longer managing the experience.
You’re inside it.
And that’s the difference you can feel in the photographs for years to come.
Thank you again to Kristin Collier, Relationship Coach and owner of Collier Connections for being our guest contributor today.
Be sure to say hello to her at:
